This is Me, in a Snapshot...

So I got a request to write about the things that have happened in my life that have led me to where I am now, to the person who I am today. I've honestly never considered myself to be a very interesting person. Nor have I ever thought someone would want to know about my life. But here I am, sitting in my cold room, at my cluttered desk with a nice warm crochet blanket over my lap writing this post. I couldn't possibly write my whole life story, or go into specifics about particular events that stand out, so I have attempted a blurb of the incredibly (what I think is) boring story that is my life. 

I believe that to write a post about who I am at this very minute, would require me actually knowing who I am. Yet, I don't think I've really discovered the person I am supposed to be or where I want to end up just yet, despite having 20 years of being me. Yes, I understand that's confusing, hell...I confused myself. BUT, it's true. I haven't yet reached that point where you are like, "You know what, I think this was what I was supposed to do with my life". 

Man, I don't even know where to start... *Rewinds back time*

Up until about 4 years ago, I was a very different person. In school I enjoyed being the fly on the wall overseeing the whole picture...everything that was wrong, everything that was right. Quiet, nice, friendly and smart were all words used to describe me, but they were generic, no one ever really knew me. 

In high school I was a quiet achiever. People always just assumed that good grades came naturally to me...as if somehow I already knew everything? Which is absurd and so far from the truth. I worked hard to get the marks that I got and I always hated people who never pulled their weight in group assignments because, "Oh, I'm in Courtney's group...we will get good marks anyway". I fought that inner turmoil for about 12 years of my life. Modesty really is a curse...which often comes hand in hand with perfectionism. I think that both of these qualities have latched on to the pocket of the blazer that is my life right until this very second. I'm creative, but don't like to show it...and I am studying law which invokes the perfectionist in me. I wouldn't say they were good qualities, but I have them. 

Something else I have learnt is never trust someone to do something for you. It's a simple truth. If you want something done properly, you have to do it yourself. I couldn't even trust my best friends to organize a surprise birthday party for me one year, because they argued over who should be invited...guess who ended up organizing it? Yep, Me. Guess who always had to stay back after school to make sure things got done for the year book (despite having a team to help), yep, Me. Who had to finalize all group assessment pieces? Who has to always be the person to contact someone first to catch up? Who always goes to the extra personal effort in birthday gifts, but gets nothing in return? Who has to take the blame? Who has to always be the shoulder to cry on, yet never the one listened to? Who has to be the one who is strong? Yep, so I think you get the picture. What I am saying is, all these things made me realize that I just hadn't yet found my place in the world. I still had decisions to make, people to meet and opportunities to take before I found that safe place where I am surrounded by trustworthy people. 

Through all of lifes happenings, with every cloudy day...there was music. This is the one thing that always made it through the eye of the storm...keeping it real. Music is probably the most important part of the person that I am. It is difficult to explain how the lyrics and melody of a song somehow change your perspective on life, but it does. Music is both inspiring and comforting. Without it, my life would be hollow and boring. So I guess I have a lot to say to the musicians that got me through and convinced my past self to give my present self a chance to live. Music is the only part of me that I am content with and that I am sure about. 

Moving on, I believe that my taste in the books that I read have inspired me to live my life as close to a fairy tale as I can. Haven't you always wanted to be that parent who can tell their future child an incredible and romantically epic story? I guess I have a pretty unrealistic expectation of life...but without dreaming big you only limit yourself to the ordinary...and what chance does that possibly give you to be extra-ordinary? None. 

Besides books and music, I have met some pretty inspirational and supportive people on social networking sites like Twitter. Although many don't know it, they helped pick me up when I was down, so I guess in a way, they played a part in this story. 

Then there is travel. Family trips to the US and Europe have obviously made me realize that this world we live in has SO MUCH to offer. I couldn't possibly fit in everything that travelling has taught me here, but you should know it was a pretty life changing experience. 

*Insert heart break* I think that event always changes a person. It makes them realize that hey, maybe being with that person wasn't what I was supposed to being doing. But with a heart break, always comes the next love story *Enters person who opens your eyes AND the long lost twin* (Said people deserve a post of their own)

My mission in life has always been to be different. No one stands out if they try to be like everybody else. In school, I always tried to be creative in things that I did...branch out from the play-it-safers. I express my originality in the way I dress, the music I listen to, the artwork I create and the things that I write. But hell, it is insanely difficult to make law creative!! Hence why I am having this horrible internal battle with myself about where I am supposed to be. 

All in all, I think that all of these things have brought me to here. Where I am sitting right now. This is my general over view of what I think makes me...well, me. BUT I guarantee you, there is way more specifics that are yet to come...however, I believe each story deserves its own post. 

To that person who requested this post...I hope that you found what you were looking for :)

*Watch this space*