It's not the end...it's just the beginning.

I will confide in you, a personal truth. A story of both heartache and loss, but also passion and strength. You stare at the emotional scars that occasionally break the surface of my smiling facade with concern. But being a little Emo ain't a bad thing...it just makes you the most real face in the room. 

It has only been days since I was pulled through the emotional roller coaster of a break up. BUT, I am here...still breathing and I stayed around to tell you that being completely broken and shattered is no reason to give up. 

"You don't know how strong you are, until being strong is the only choice you have..." 

Well ain't that saying the absolute truth! Like many teenage loves, the end of the relationship was never in sight. The word "forever" was used a lot and the phrase "I Love You" was thrown around, never really sure of its meaning. But when things do come to an end, and one of you writes the final line in the last chapter, you have no choice but to pick up the pieces of yourself and put them back together.


It was a long 2 years of being together. He was my best friend, he was my person. He was sweet and caring and selfless. I confided in him and I trusted him. I have so many memories. Every movie ticket, photo, stuffed animal, personal jokes, cute little drawings and notes. There were always the flaws in the relationship. Those things he did that were annoying...the little arguments about stupid petty issues...but no one is perfect. The point of loving someone, is that you love all of who they are.


Then one day, life got in the way...as it always does. We both were really busy, our timetables conflicted and no, we didn't get to see each other as often as we would like....but that is something you have to deal with...right? You don't end something beautiful because of that. You make it work. You fight hard for whatever it was that made you fall for each other to begin with. I mean, yes, you spit out harsh words to each other...you get frustrated...but you don't end things because it's too hard....right? Well apparently I was wrong.


It was then that I stopped believing that love conquers all...all those crazy sayings about love being powerful and blinding. I don't believe it, not any more. Love is painful and makes you vulnerable. There is too much at stake...too much to lose. What I am feeling now...makes it all seem pointless. It's a horrible and terrifying feeling. I am still yet to find out just how much time needs to fade away until I am whole again.

Maybe it all happened for a reason. Maybe fate decided to step in and push me onto the right path. I am a strong believer of things happening for a reason, whether that be divine power...or just some 6th sense thing...I don't know. All I know is, I have some pretty amazing friends. Both on Twitter and in person...you have all played a huge part in keeping me positive. Now I just have to remember that this is the beginning of a new chapter. It is a new road...a new highway...and a whole new playlist. I have my music, I have my friends and I have a new chapter of my life to start writing. 

"a road ahead of us and nothing but opportunities"

The point of this blog was not to turn you off love, because really...it is a beautiful thing while it lasts. Just remember it has the capability of punching a huge irreparable hole in your heart. But even when that moment comes...when you cant feel anything anymore...when your heart feels hollow and dank...don't give up. There are so many other beautiful people in this world who care for you just the way you are and there's a reason why that last jerk never made it to your future.